June 2010
Oh God
It’s happening!
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Prayer
This little string of words is all it takes to make me feel better about anything.
Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad
“In my heart your love has found the safest hiding place. Inside is a field and...”
– Sade, The Safest Place, Soldier Of Love
McChola
I swear I met Bon Qui Qui last night at McDonalds. She had this chola accent and was chewing gum while telling me this crap.
Me: Why are those Shrek cups being recalled?
Lady: Errrrr... Well.. they we're like giving little kids cancer or something...
Me: Hahaha! Really?
Lady: Is that funny?!
***Pause***
Lady turns around to talk to manager
Lady: We ain't go no sweet tea!?!!
AIDS
Nurse: Forgive me, but I'm compelled to ask you. Were you trying to get HIV?
Sarah Silverman: I have AIDS.
Nurse: No. No, no, no. The blood test results will tell us that for sure... if you're positive. This survey just lets the people in the lab know that they might want to wear extra gloves.
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“I tried to tivo TJ hooker, but my tivo suggested I punch myself in the cunt.”
– Lisa Lampanelli
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“Baby, when it’s love, if it’s not rough it isn’t fun.”
– Lady GaGa, Poker Face
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“In a heart full of dust, lives a creature called lust.”
– Bjork, Isobel
“Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.”
– Benjamin Franklin 